Miss Texas wins Miss USA - Nation Yawns

Crystal Stewart, 26 year old Texan, took home the crown at this years Miss USA Pageant last night. Apparently in another classic vain attempt at "how do we make this shit cool", a bunch of old white men thought having celeb judges would really ramp up the ole 18-34, and get em salivating for consumption of sponsors. So who better than Ron Schneider, Sir Paul's one legged nightmare Heather Mills, some swimmer no one ever heard of, and that peacock douche winner from Project Gayway to pull the coveted demo to the TV on a Friday night. How'd that work out ya think?

If you want to read about how the winner is concerned more with "international philanthropy" rather than the boring help my own country shit, read more.

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